Are You Addicted To Chaos?
A How And Why Of Simplicity

By BOB LANCER

PART 2

To lead a life more in line with what you really do care the most about, to simplify your life as much as necessary for the best interest of yourself and those you care most about, pay attention to your feelings.  Be on the lookout for signs that you are overloading yourself with too much to handle.  When you notice yourself slipping into that state of overwhelm, stop.  Make the decision to lead a centered, balanced life of clear vision and harmonious feelings.  Then, consider what you need to delegate or let go of.  If you cannot do this, if you are addicted to the chaos, then just go through the chaos more consciously.  Pay attention to how you feel, to what your actions and reactions are producing, to what is going on and what is going wrong in your life.  By making your suffering conscious you will gradually find the power to change in the ways necessary to leave that suffering behind.

Make no mistake about it, living in overwhelm is a form of suffering, and it is a form of suffering that is entirely self-imposed. Since you impose it on yourself, you can also stop imposing it on yourself.  But first you need to take responsibility for what is happening.  When things go wrong in our lives, our first impulse is often to consider who we can blame.  But blame keeps us in the dark about what we did to cause our own problem.  In life, we reap what we sow, not what others sow.

The next time that you catch yourself blaming someone for something going wrong in your life, pause to ask yourself, "In what way have I brought this upon myself?" Sometimes we feel overwhelmed because we are taking responsibility for others' problems.  Remember that a feeling of overwhelm is always an indication that you are taking on too much.  Sometimes we need to let other people solve their own problems, even when their problems cause us problems.

One individual's spouse lives in so much chaos that he routinely makes poor financial decisions based on hasty inattentiveness.  Obviously, his decisions impact his spouse, but when she takes responsibility for controlling his behavior, she feels overwhelmed.  That feeling indicates when one is taking on too much responsibility.  She heeds this feeling by thinking about what is within her power to do to improve the situation.  She comes up with the strategy of having him agree to consult with her before making any major purchase, and she commits within herself that when she believes a possible purchase to be irresponsible, she will clearly and firmly express that she will not stand for that.  In the past, she can see, she has been too wishy-washy about such matters, and then exploded in anger when she did not like the consequences.

By committing to the degree of simplicity you need to protect you from the snares of chaos, then delegating or letting go of what would drive you into overwhelm, and focusing on what you can do within your limits to improve things, you lead your life on a sane course into higher levels of order including more harmonious relationships, meaningful accomplishment, and deep joy.

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